


Big dick energy

by everwitch



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blowjobs, College, Completely Consensual, Dex sells sex, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Hung Dex, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Nursey dates an asshole, Nursey has money, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, They don't last, no infidelity, not even a little bit, some jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:14:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everwitch/pseuds/everwitch
Summary: Dex knew working his way through college would be no walk in the park, but he didn’t expect to find himself this close to a sleep-deprived breakdown in the middle of his junior year. When Dex is presented with the opportunity to make unbelievable amounts of money in record time, he knows he'd be a fool not to give it a try – even if it means providing discreet sexual services to affluent men of the upper class.It certainly helps that Dex has a very specific physical quality which attracts a lot of curious clients. It doesn’t help, even a little bit, that Dex soon starts looking forward to seeing one of those clients a lot more than the others. Nursey is gorgeous, and unexpectedly sweet, and before long Dex finds himself struggling to keep his growing attachment in check. He absolutely must, or he'll be in danger of breaking the most important rule of the arrangement: Dex isn't allowed to fall in love.
Relationships: Adam "Holster" Birkholtz/William "Dex" Poindexter, Derek "Nursey" Nurse/Original Male Character(s), Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter, William "Dex" Poindexter/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 278





	Big dick energy

So, the thing is, Dex is completely aware of the rather obvious fact that he is… There's probably a right word for it.  _ Big _ is definitely not untrue, although maybe  _ large _ or  _ long _ is more accurate – except honestly, Dex thinks he's kind of both? Objectively speaking. Really, whether you’re talking about length or girth the conclusion is just the same. Dex is, most definitely… Well.

Anyhow.  _ Well-endowed _ is certainly too much of a mouthful, when your goal is to quickly get your unfairly gorgeous hookup clued in on the situation.

(Incidentally, a mouthful is exactly what Dex would love for his cock to be right now.)

Tonight, since there hasn't been an abundance of conversation between himself and Mr. Taller Than Dex And Seriously Fit, Dex hasn't actually gotten around to mentioning it by the time the guy is on his knees before Dex, tugging eagerly at Dex's zipper.

Dex immediately reaches down, gently removing his partner's hand.

A pair of blue eyes flicker up to meet Dex's.

"You good? We, uh. We don't have to go on."

"I'm  _ so _ good, you have no idea." Jesus, Dex is so turned on just from those brief kisses in the elevator, it's fucking ridiculous. "I just… You don't  _ have to _ blow me, if you're not up for it. It's okay."

Those blue eyes blink slowly.

"Dude. I've literally been thinking about your dick in my mouth since I saw you at the club."

Fuck, oh  _ fuck, _ that's-

"I'm kinda big."

It isn't the first time Dex has put it that way, if he thinks about it. Reactions vary a lot, though, but commonly there's an increased interest – initially. Dex knows from experience not to take that too seriously – it's not until everything's come off that he'll know for sure.

A lot of people are weirdly into the  _ idea _ of being fucked by a really huge cock. The reality? Not quite as much.

Still, that's okay. Dex loves a good hand job, likes to bottom practically as much as he likes to top. And over time, Dex has gotten so good at fingering his partners until they're a writhing, whimpering, utterly wrecked mess, their ass ready to take just about  _ anything, _ Dex could probably charge by the hour.

A blowjob, though – that feeling of a deliciously warm mouth closing around his dick, half-lidded eyes glancing up behind long lashes... Now that's something else.

It's not like Dex hasn’t ever had one. Still, the fact of the matter is that Dex's dick being sucked is pretty far from the usual outcome of a night like this.

Presently, Blue Eyes is observing Dex's still jeans-clad crotch curiously.

"Can I…?" he ventures, his hand toying with the zipper.

Dex nods. After a brief fumble, Dex's jeans and boxers are pooling around his ankles.

There's a sharp intake of breath. And then-

"Dude. D'you think you could… Inside me?”

… Huh.

Dex genuinely did not expect that.

"I’d love that. D’you wanna… Maybe if you ride me?”

“Oh, yes. Please.” Those blue eyes are still fixed on Dex’s cock. It’s more than a little bit flattering. “Just, with a lot of lube, yeah? And I’ve got this plug that might be, like. A good start.”

“Perfect,” Dex agrees. Gently, he trails the tips of his fingers across his partner’s cheek. “We’ll go slow. Work you open, get you nice and loose.”

“Awesome.” Finally, those blue eyes look up once more, and this time they’re accompanied by a surprisingly wicked grin. “Let’s go, yeah?"

Dex finds it the easiest thing in the world to smile back.

***

Dex stays the night.

His partner’s name is Adam, Dex learns in murmured fragments during a tranquil moment, afterwards. Adam immediately asks Dex to call him  _ Holster _ , which, okay. Sure. If Dex was a little less tired, he’d probably try to find out the story behind that. Adam – or well, Holster – is a junior consultant at a tech startup incubator. Holster likes kissing, and touching, and  _ being  _ touched and  _ being  _ kissed – being cared for, in any way possible. Being taken cared of.

(Dex wonders whether or not he should mention how providing that for his partner is pretty much his whole _thing_ – wonders whether or not Holster hasn't figured that out, already.)

In the morning, Dex learns that Holster likes cereal.

Dex is relieved, as he swallows down some predictably bland bran flakes and sips surprisingly good coffee produced by an ancient-looking machine, that the whole affair of breakfast isn't actually as awkward as it might've been, given the circumstances. Maybe it helps that Holster stays pretty quiet, on the whole.

Holster is also watching Dex… Pretty intently. Huh.

Just as Dex is starting to consider the possibility that there might be a chance for a repeat of last night, Holster clears his throat.

"Easier to walk, than I thought it'd be," he confides, his grin a little lopsided. "I have to say, you’re really something."

"So are you," Dex admits easily. Holster is gorgeous, and fit, and last night he proved to be a delightfully responsive lover. Dex isn't sure how they'd connect on a more emotional level, but he wouldn't be opposed to exploring that, too. "We could… Meet up again, sometime? If you'd like."

"How's tomorrow night?" Holster says, a little jokingly – except also a little seriously.

Dex bites back his smile.

"Sorry, got a double shift at work."

"Right. Next weekend?"

Dex shakes his head regretfully.

"Working back to back shifts at my other job."

Holster frowns a little.

"I'm working my way through college," Dex explains. "I'm usually a  _ little _ less busy, but there's just so much coming up these next few weeks."

It's something of an understatement. Between picking up as many shifts as he can at the gas station, bartending on weekend nights and cramming for his midterms every available minute in between, Dex sometimes feels like his brain is about to implode. It’s okay, though. As long as he gets a good night’s rest sometime in the near future, he’ll be fine. Except, he also needs to blow off some steam from time to time – like last night.  _ God,  _ last night. Dex really,  _ really _ wishes he had just a little bit more time for, well. Anything that isn't work or studying.

It's a pity, how his tuition fees for next year won't magically pay themselves.

Holster is watching Dex again, his expression a little different from before. He looks… Contemplative? Or maybe hesitant? Which is weird – he shouldn’t have any reason to be.

Dex quirks an eyebrow in question.

Holster takes a deep breath.

"Feel free to ignore this completely, but... You do realise there's plenty of other ways to earn that kind of money? More… Efficient ways. There are certainly people out there who'd be willing to pay for your time."

Dex blinks. It takes him a moment to catch on, but when he does his reaction must be evident from his expression, because Holster immediately elaborates.

"See, that's what I did – I worked my way through college, same as you."

Oh.

Dex stirs his coffee, his eyes fixed on Holster, drinking in Holster's appearance like he’s seeing him for the first time. It makes sense, really. Holster is drop-dead irresistible, in a very conventional way. Of course there'd be a market for, well. That.

Dex isn't entirely convinced the same would apply to himself.

He's got questions – so  _ many _ questions, and most of them are completely inappropriate.

"How, uh. What was that like?"

Holster, who's been patiently watching Dex sort out his thoughts, offers a smile.

“So,  _ so _ fun.”

Dex’s disbelief must be showing on his face, because Holster laughs lightly.

“I mean it. It depends a lot on how you go about it, obviously, on what clients you take and so forth. I guess I lucked out a bit. This friend of mine, Lardo, she's got a lot of connections with the right kind of people. She sort of acted like an in-between – she set up all my appointments and negotiated pricing, for a certain percentage of the profits. I just… Y'know." Holster winks. "Did the work."

"Appointments," Dex echoes, a little scandalized. That shouldn't be the word for it, really – there must be some other, more appropriate term that doesn't give Dex the mental image of going to the dentist. "Were you… How much do people even pay for, uh."

"A lot." Holster shrugs. "See, Lardo runs an art gallery. That's her day job – she convinces obscenely rich New Yorkers to fork over outrageous amounts of cash for these curiously shaped papier-maché sculptures that are only really worth so much because Lardo says they are. By night, however…"

"Oh," Dex realises out loud. "Same clients, different service?"

"Bingo." Holster tilts his head a little. "I could get you her number? If you wanted to get in touch with her, get some more information. I'd be more than willing to put in a good word for you."

"I, I'm not." Dex licks his lips. He's trying to come up with a reason to decline. "Did you say New Yorkers?"

"That's Lardo's first rule." Holster holds up his right index finger. "Number one, never work in your own town. Never. It's both for your discretion, and your client's. Lardo flies all her guys in from all over."

"... Huh." It actually makes sense, although Dex isn't about to admit that. "Sounds a little time consuming."

"I only did four, maybe five appointments per semester." Holster shrugs. "So that's five weekend trips, maximum."

Dex stares at Holster. He tries, and fails, to imagine a world where he might afford to work no more than five weekends per semester.

"I know Lardo's always looking for more guys with, well. Certain qualities. Really, you'd be doing her a favor. What you have to offer…" Holster pauses to glance rather unsubtly in the direction of Dex's crotch. "That's always been in very high demand. You could definitely make a lot of money. A  _ lot, _ a lot."

Dex swallows. He thinks about scrubbing the greasy deep fryer at the gas station, about mixing his sixteenth mojito at the bar with trembling hands, about waking up after only a few hours of sleep knowing he's got more than ten pages to skim through before his eight am class. He thinks about everything Holster has just told him, how uncomplicated he's made it all sound.  _ People pay a lot. What you have to offer has always been in high demand. It was so, so fun. _

It's not a conclusion as much as an inevitability.

"I… Yeah. I should probably at least talk to your friend."

Holster smiles.

"I honestly don't think you'll regret it."

"I hope not."

"One thing, though." Holster clears his throat lightly. "I can't take you out, if you're doing this."

Dex frowns.

"It's Lardo's second rule," Holster clarifies. "No relationships."

"Why?"

Holster shrugs.

"Feelings are messy. If you catch them, you're out. It's Lardo's way of keeping things running smoothly."

Dex ponders that for a moment. He hasn't had anyone serious since the summer before his freshman year, hasn't had nearly enough free time to form and maintain a connection like that.

He shrugs.

"I'll live," he says, and only then does he remember the present context. "I mean. I'm sure you're very, um."

Holster is smiling, somewhat wistfully.

"Maybe in another lifetime," he says tactfully. "I somehow doubt we'd have been able to make time for each other, either way. My working schedule can get almost as hectic as yours."

"Maybe you're right." Dex feels impossibly awkward. "Well. This has been, um. Enlightening."

Holster grins.

"I'm gonna make Lardo buy me a drink, next time I see her. Maybe two drinks. To think she has no idea that I'm about to do her the favor of a lifetime."

Dex feels the way his ears are turning pink.

"That's very flattering, but I think we both know you're exaggerating quite a bit."

"Not at all." Holster pauses to let his eyes roam over Dex's body one more time, almost like he's savoring the moment. "You really are something. I think, around this time next month, you'll find yourself with a fine selection of cute city boys who keep outbidding each other for your time and attention. Just you wait and see."

***

Lardo, Dex thinks, is… Unexpected. For some reason, he’d thought she’d be older, but the woman who is currently watching him through their slightly blurry facetime call might actually be around his own age. Her black hair is cut short in a pixie-like style and she’s wearing some sort of cropped blazer over a white, silky-looking shirt – very chic, Dex guesses, even though he knows little about such things – but when she talks, her waving hands come into view, and even though the video quality is mediocre at best Dex can spot something vaguely blueish all over her fingers, a startling contrast to her otherwise neat appearance. Dex guesses it must be remnants of some kind of paint – from what Holster has told him, Lardo doesn’t just  _ run _ an art gallery. Dex wonders if it’d be weirdly off-topic to ask Lardo what she’s working on.

Lardo reluctantly tells Dex her real name (“it’s Larissa – I know, my parents clearly had no judgement,”) and then proceeds to inform him that if he ever so much as  _ thinks  _ of calling her anything other than Lardo, she won’t speak to him for at least a week.

Dex decides that he likes her.

“So,” Lardo says, after a few minutes of surprisingly easy small talk. “Holster tells me that you could make a man come within seconds once you’ve got your fingers up his ass. Says his prostate basically found you, as opposed to the other way around.”

Dex blinks. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. What the fuck is he supposed to say to that?

“He also talked at length about your penis,” Lardo continues unhelpfully. “Incidentally, the  _ length  _ of it was a pretty significant part of his monologue.”

“Uh, yeah.” This, at least, Dex knows how to articulate. Sort of. “It’s kinda big.”

“Well. I’d certainly be more than willing to give you a shot.” Lardo tilts her head a little. “Did Holster talk you through how this arrangement works?”

“Parts of it, yeah.”

“It’s really quite simple,” Lardo tells him, and while her tone has turned a little more efficient, she still takes a moment to offer a brief smile. “I have a good number of contacts who are willing to pay excellent rates for quality and discretion. I coordinate appointments between them, the clients, and with my network of people like yourself. I’ll need to know some of your preferences, just so that I’m aware of what you generally enjoy and what you won’t be up for. I will only set you up with clients whose preferences align well enough with your own – we do want to show them a good time, and that’s a whole lot easier if you’re able to enjoy yourself. Still, this isn’t really going to be about you, exactly – you want to make them feel good, to make sure they have a great experience. You’ll still get a few orgasms out of it, for sure, a lot of clients really like to know that you’re enjoying it, too. It’s definitely okay to have fun, just as long as you remember what you came to do.”

“Sure.” Dex licks his lips. “So you… The clients don’t choose who they, uh. Make an appointment with?”

“That’s right. The clients tell me what they’re after, and I set it up. They can request the same guy again, of course, if it’s someone they liked.” Lardo grins. “For a significant extra charge, naturally.”

“Oh, really?”

“They always pay,” Lardo says, her tone a little smug, before quickly continuing. “You can decline, obviously – you’re never obligated to take on any client. It’s always up to you.”

“Right.” Dex hadn’t even considered that as something to be concerned about – he’s still not entirely convinced that his first client won’t take one look at him and demand an immediate refund. “And this is all based in New York?”

“Exactly. The client pays for your transportation – they don’t know they do, but it’s all covered. See, they won’t know that you’re from out of town. You can’t tell them that.”

“I can’t?”

“No, absolutely not.” Lardo’s tone is firm. “It’s rule number three – rule number one is never work in your own town, you could get recognized somewhere inconvenient, rule number two is no relationships, that shit just fucks everything up. With me so far?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Great. So, rule number three – no personal information. You don’t tell them your name, your age, your occupation, nothing. You don’t ask them anything about themselves. If you bring up, I don’t know, your all-time favorite musical, that’s whatever. Just nothing significant, nothing related to either of your identities.”

“I don’t… I know very little about musicals.”

Lardo’s eyes widen. “Dude. You’re missing out.”

Dex clears his throat. “Any other rules?”

“Two more.” Lardo holds up four fingers. “Rule number four, you get tested before every appointment. No exceptions. Obviously, your client covers the cost, and they also have to show a clean result every time. Just so everyone’s being safe.”

“Okay. And rule number five?”

“No digital footprint. You never have direct contact with a client, it all goes through me, and you and I never text or chat. We always call. I only keep track of clients and appointments on paper.” Lardo smiles. “I don’t really trust computers, so. This is my foolproof way to never get hacked.”

For a moment, Dex wants to argue – he’s a computer science major, he’s literally looking at career options in digital security. There  _ are _ ways. Still, he does appreciate how seriously Lardo is taking the information security aspect of this. A lot of people wouldn’t even consider it, despite the rather obvious fact that any leaked information would be disastrous for all parties.

“Okay,” he agrees. “That actually makes sense.”

Lardo watches him for a moment.

“Should I take that as confirmation that you’re in?”

Dex barely even hesitates. He’d be an idiot to back out now.

“Yeah, yes. Sure.”

Lardo grins.

“Fantastic,” she says brightly. “So. Why don’t we move on to the fun part, where you tell me about your preferences – what you’re really into, and anything you won’t be up for. Oh, and we’ll have to come up with an alias for you. Like I said before, you won’t be able to tell anyone your real name.”

Dex frowns a little. He feels oddly like that one time Chowder made him take every single one of those  _ what’s your stripper name _ quizzes on Buzzfeed.

“A nickname might be okay,” Lardo adds, evidently sensing Dex’s discomfort. “Just not, you know. Anything that makes your real name completely obvious.”

Huh.

“... Would Dex be alright?”

“Well, sure.” Lardo picks up a notebook, and writes something down. “Dex. I like it. It’s distinct.”

Dex quickly decides he shouldn’t mention the fact that more people basically know him as Dex than as William, or even Will. What Lardo doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

“So, Dex.” Lardo grins, a little wickedly. “Let’s hear it. Do you have a type? What do you like? Tell me about your ultimate sexual fantasies.”

Dex has to look away from the screen for a moment. Suddenly, his face feels very hot. Which is ridiculous – really, this shouldn’t be that hard. Dex knows what he likes, and he’s no stranger to being vocal about it with his partners. Lardo is friendly enough, and she definitely won’t judge him, Dex thinks. Really, she must’ve heard so much crazy stuff by now, Dex’s slight obsession with the idea of the perfect blowjob probably won’t even begin to compare.

Dex takes a breath. Then he starts talking.

***

Dex’s first client is… Very okay. He’s probably a couple of years older than Dex, his hair is dark and his eyes bright blue. He doesn’t want Dex to fuck him. Instead, he wants to fuck Dex, slowly, while fondling Dex’s aching cock teasingly. He likes it when Dex doesn’t hold back his groans and breathless pleading, and he wants Dex to tell him exactly how it feels, to know just how close Dex is. Eventually, when he’s spilled himself inside Dex, he’s kind enough to rub one out of Dex, too. It’s genuinely, perfectly fine.

Dex’s second client is definitely older than Dex, maybe somewhere in his mid-thirties. He very much does want Dex to fuck him – it seems like he’s specifically asked for someone with a big cock, and he couldn’t be more delighted when Dex unzips his pants. Dex feels a little more in his element as he carefully gets the man ready, opening him up little by little, his fingers moving with practiced ease. He’s so focused on making the man feel good that he doesn’t come himself, this time, but that’s all right. Dex still feels oddly content, after. It was a job well done, and he knows it.

Dex’s third client is… Different.

He must be about the same age as Dex and their height is well matched. He’s wearing tight, flattering jeans paired with a white tank top that contrasts beautifully against his black skin. It’s almost like he’s dressed to impress, which is  _ weird,  _ because he clearly has no reason to, given the circumstances. He’s got curly dark hair and brown eyes, and there’s an intricate, swirly tattoo that loops itself around his upper right arm. Overall, Dex must admit that this guy is exceptionally pleasant to look at. Hopefully, that might make things a little more interesting, this time.

Unless it simply makes Dex forget what he’s supposed to be offering.

Dex forces himself to take a deep breath. He tries to hold onto Lardo’s words from that first facetime call.  _ It’s definitely okay to have fun, just as long as you remember what you came to do. _

So. All he’s got to do is make sure this pretty boy has a good time,  _ and _ he’s getting paid for it?

Dex allows himself a small smile.

***

As soon as Nursey lays eyes on him, he knows he’s in trouble.

This guy.  _ Fuck, _ this guy. Nursey swallows. He’s not Nursey’s type, exactly – Nursey can’t say he’s ever had a thing for redheads, although actually, this night suddenly has the potential to change that completely. It’s just something about him, Nursey thinks dazedly – those angular cheekbones dusted with freckles, his pretty pink lips, that surprisingly determined look in his eyes as he meets Nursey’s gaze steady on. Fuck.  _ Fuck. _

He might need to send Lardo flowers. Nursey’s request had been pathetically unspecific, this time around.  _ Maybe someone a little different?  _ Yet somehow, she’s absolutely nailed it.

Nursey licks his lips, letting his gaze drop a little lower, curiously surveying the guy’s crotch. It’s one of the few specific details Lardo had mentioned.  _ I have someone in mind, from what I’ve been hearing from his other clients he’s a lot of fun. How would you feel about a larger-than-average cock? _

Even with that intriguing piece of information in mind, Nursey hadn’t expected himself to feel  _ this  _ desperate to get his man for the night out of those pants.

“I’m Dex.” Nursey looks up, finds a smile playing on Dex’s lips. “Hi.”

“Hi. Hello.” God, Nursey wishes he could make himself sound at least a little bit chill. “I’m… Nursey. You can call me Nursey.”

Dex barely raises an eyebrow. He looks vaguely amused.

“All right, then. Nursey.”

“You. Could you. Um.”

Nursey exhales. God. This isn’t usually so difficult. Dex is watching him intently – maybe that’s why Nursey has such trouble stringing a single sentence together.

“It’s alright,” Dex says, after a moment’s silence. His tone is a little gentler than before. “We could just talk, first. If you want.”

The line is familiar – a lot of Lardo’s other guys have said something similar, at some point. Nursey wonders, a little hysterically, if Lardo sends them all to hooker school to learn some secret sex worker’s protocol, before they start. And where the fuck does she keep finding all these exceptionally attractive men, anyway?

“Or we could just stand here.” Dex is smiling again, a little wider than before. “That works, too.”

“Oh, shut up,” Nursey mutters. “I’m just… You’re  _ extremely  _ hot.”

Dex stops smiling. His cheeks – and the tips of his ears, Nursey notes with interest – have turned quite pink.

“You are,” Nursey repeats, because there is something not entirely unlike disbelief in Dex’s eyes. Which is  _ weird _ – this guy is literally charging people money to fuck him. Surely, he’s got to have some level of self-awareness. “Seriously. We could just stand here, and you’d still get a tip.”

Dex rolls his eyes.

“Don’t be stupid,” he says, taking a small step closer towards Nursey. “I can do better than that. A lot better.”

“So I’ve heard.” Nursey licks his lips. “Maybe kissing wouldn’t be a bad place to start?”

“You’d like that, huh,” Dex says softly. He’s stepped even closer, now, has reached out to trail his fingertips down Nursey’s arm, to his hand, then his fingers. It’s such a small, featherlight touch, yet Nursey still trembles all over. “What else do you like?”

“Don’t know.” He does know, of course he does. “You could… Touch me, again? Just like that.”

Dex obliges. This time, when his hand reaches Nursey’s, he gently laces their fingers together.

“Okay. What else?”

“We could, um.” Dex’s fingers are rubbing soft circles on the back of his hand. It’s more than a little distracting. “Less clothes?”

“In a minute,” Dex promises quietly. “Nursey. How do you want me, tonight?”

Nursey bites his lower lip. He doesn’t think there’s a single way that he  _ doesn’t _ want Dex, tonight and every other night.

He doesn’t tell Dex that.

“You could fuck me,” he breathes out. “That’d be nice.”

Dex pauses. He looks a little contemplative.

“I’m kinda big.”

“I’ve heard.” Nursey glances down towards Dex’s crotch. There’s a significant bulge, there, in a way that there actually wasn’t before. Fuck. Suddenly, Nursey wants nothing more than to reach out and touch. “Can I…?”

“Yeah. Go on.”

Nursey does. He splays his fingers all over Dex’s crotch, gives a light squeeze. Dex’s breath hitches beautifully.

“S’nice,” he murmurs, his voice closer to Nursey’s ear than before. “You still want me inside?”

“Yeah.” Dex is  _ big, _ Nursey can feel as much, but the idea of Dex fucking him is still completely irresistible. “I guess I’ll just need to… Relax? Before, I mean.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Dex’s voice is soft. “This is gonna take a little more than just a few deep breaths. I’m going to need to  _ really  _ work you open, first. Lots of lube, lots of patience. All right?”

Nursey licks his lips. Suddenly, his own jeans feel much too tight.

“Fuck, yeah. Yes. Please.”

Dex smiles.

“Good. I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

Nursey nods, breathless all over again.

Dex leans in,  _ finally, _ his lips soft, his mouth deliciously hot, his hands gentle on Nursey’s hips as he guides Nursey to the nearest wall, carefully pushing Nursey up against it, their bodies aligning beautifully. It’s perfect. It feels like coming home.

***

Dex stares at his bank account in disbelief.

There’s… A lot of money. A  _ lot, _ a lot. He knew there would be – Lardo has been completely transparent about the amount she’s agreed on with each client, but it’s different, somehow, when it’s no longer just in theory. He could buy a car, he thinks, a little hysterically. A  _ nice  _ car. Or a pony.

Or, preferably, pay a significant part of next year’s tuition out of pocket.

His phone buzzes – it’s Lardo. Dex, still somewhat distracted by the numbers in front of him, picks up on the fourth ring.

“There you are!” Lardo says, her tone a little brighter than usually. “So, I don’t know what kind of sorcery you pulled off last week, but it’d be really great if you could do it again.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s Nursey – he’s asked for you.” Lardo grins. “Listen, I’ve  _ got _ to tell you this. Only between us, okay? Nursey has been a steady client for a while, now, but he’s never once requested anybody for a second round. Until you, that is.”

“Oh,” Dex says, his tone a little weak. “Really?”

“Pretty exciting, right?”

“Sure, yeah.” Dex swallows. If he’s honest, _exciting_ doesn’t nearly cover his feelings on this particular subject. All his clients so far have been perfectly fine, but Nursey? He’d been fucking exquisite. “When?”

“This weekend, if you can make it? Saturday night, as usually. Oh, and he’s agreed to pay an additional twenty percent. Neat, huh?”

Dex doesn’t even pause to do the math.

“Yeah. I can definitely make it.”

***

That second time, Nursey doesn’t ask Dex to fuck him. Instead, he wants Dex to touch him all over, and then kiss him all over, and then he wants Dex to jerk him off, slowly, while they make out. It’s oddly intimate, Dex thinks, even compared to their first time, which had ended with Dex burying himself deep inside Nursey after a long, delicious session of fingering. Nursey had been reduced to a writhing mess, there’d been tears in his eyes and he hadn’t been able to choke out any other words than  _ please _ and  _ more _ for quite a while. Dex had loved every second of it, so  _ much, _ which is why it should come as a surprise when the second time is somehow even better. There’s something alarmingly addictive about the way Nursey looks at Dex, after – his gaze seems so intensely captivated, Dex can’t quite believe it’s directed towards himself.

The third time, Nursey fucks Dex. Except first, he wants to watch Dex prepare himself for it, which, well. Dex certainly isn’t about to decline having more of Nursey’s undivided attention.

The fourth time, Nursey requests Dex on a Sunday night. Dex quickly looks up his travel options – unsurprisingly, he’ll need to catch his return flight at ass o’clock if he wants to get to his early Monday morning class sort of on time, but as long as Nursey doesn't mind having a midnight curfew this one time, it should be okay.

Thankfully, Nursey agrees.

This time, Nursey is already waiting for Dex when Dex gets to the hotel room. He’s wearing… Well, actually, he isn’t.

Dex swallows.

“Hey." Nursey grins lazily towards him from the bed. “You’re here.”

“Yeah.” Dex takes off his jacket, removes his shoes. “I hope you didn’t wait long?”

“I was a bit early.” Nursey flops over on his stomach, his eyes never leaving Dex. “I may have been looking forward to this all week.”

Dex bites back a smile. He knows that feeling.

Of course, he’s not about to tell Nursey that.

“I’m flattered. Thank you for, um. For choosing me again.”

“Anytime,” Nursey says, a little too sincerely.

Dex clears his throat.

“Do you… Did you have anything in mind, tonight?”

“We should kiss,” Nursey tells him immediately. “And then…”

Dex waits patiently. He has learned, by now, that Nursey usually needs a couple of moments to find his words.

“If it’s alright with you, we could... See, there’s a pretty spacious shower. In the ensuite bathroom.”

Dex draws a breath. How the fuck is he getting paid for  _ this? _

“That sounds very alright.”

“Yeah?” Nursey's grin is a little playful. “You’ll need to wear less clothes, then.”

“You’re probably right.” Dex pauses, considering. Of course, he could just undress – except, there’s clearly a better option. “Any chance you’d give me a hand with that?”

Within seconds, Nursey has scrambled off the bed and is crowding him against the door.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I swear,” he mutters, undoing the buttons of Dex’s shirt at record speed. “You couldn’t just wear a t-shirt? Or something with a goddamn zipper.”

“Nah. This is definitely more fun.” Dex trails his hands down Nursey’s sides, thoroughly enjoying the way he’s making Nursey shiver. He gives Nursey’s naked butt a light squeeze. “You look really good, tonight.”

Nursey pauses, blinking.

“Yeah?” he asks, the sudden uncertainty in his voice entirely unfamiliar. “I’m sure that’s what you’ve been telling all the others, too.”

It takes Dex a moment before he remembers what he’s doing here, why Nursey might think something like that. Fuck.

“Maybe you’re right,” he says lightly, despite the fact that Nursey is so,  _ so _ wrong. “Maybe it’s still true.”

How long has it been since Dex even considered accepting an appointment from anyone but Nursey... A month? Maybe even longer?

Thankfully, Dex's words makes Nursey smile a little.

“You’re sweet,” he murmurs, returning his attention back to Dex’s shirt, undoing the last few buttons and slipping it off. “And so  _ hot.  _ You’d look perfect down on your knees in that shower, soaking wet, my cock deep in your mouth.”

“Yeah?” Dex breathes out. He licks his lips in anticipation. “Well. I think that sounds like a plan.”

It’s been awhile since Dex last gave a blowjob, but it seems like he hasn’t lost his touch. Nursey keeps making these soft sounds in the back of his throat, almost like he’s trying and failing to hold himself back, and when he pulls out just enough to spill himself all over Dex it’s honestly so close to perfection, Dex almost cries.  _ God, _ what Dex wouldn’t do for a decent blowjob. He already knows that Nursey won’t ever offer to reciprocate – most people are pretty reluctant to take Dex’s cock in their mouths, given it’s size, and besides, Dex certainly isn’t the one emptying his wallet, here. It’s fine, though, honestly – Dex isn’t sure if he’d survive the view of Nursey getting down on his knees before him. That might actually be too perfect.

Afterwards, Nursey is pliant, and soft, and...Unusually talkative. 

“So fucking hot,” he murmurs, clinging to Dex in the still running shower. Dex wishes there was something steady to hold onto, something that isn’t all wet and slippery. “It’s almost like you don’t even know it. You’re so insanely attractive.”

“I’m going to turn off the shower, now.” Dex presses a kiss to Nursey’s forehead. “Careful, floor's wet-”

"You're no fun," Nursey whines, even as he momentarily loses his footing and has to tighten his grip around Dex. "I don't want to go, not yet. What time is it?"

“Not nearly midnight,” Dex tells him, trying very hard not to smile. “We could… Move this to the bed?”

“Yeah, okay.” Still, Nursey sighs. “I know I said seeing you just for a few hours was fine, but I really wish I could stay longer.”

Dex chuckles.

“Unfortunately, my eight am class doesn’t agree with you.”

Nursey stills in his arms.

“You… You’re in college?”

Oh. Shit.

Dex turns off the shower.

“Yeah,” he says, no point denying it now. He reaches for a towel, wraps it carefully around Nursey’s shoulders. “I am.”

Nursey’s eyes are wide as he stares at Dex.

“NYU? Or, wait. Columbia?"

“No,” Dex says softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t tell you any more than that.”

He wants to, though. He probably shouldn’t want to, but suddenly, he does.

Nursey tilts his head, frowning a little.

“Why would you…” he begins, only to fall silent again. “Why do you, um.”

Dex averts his eyes, reaches for a towel for himself.

“Why are you doing this?” Nursey finally settles on.

Oh.

Well. It’s not like Nursey can’t already put two and two together. No harm in doing it for him.

“I’ve got tuition to pay.” Dex shrugs. “This seemed… Efficient.”

Nursey’s frown deepens.

“Aren’t there… Other jobs?” he asks, only to immediately backtrack. “I mean. Obviously, I don’t  _ want  _ you to not do this, but.”

“Oh, I’ve tried other jobs.” Dex rubs his towel across his face, then drapes it over his shoulders. He smiles, briefly. “This one’s a lot more fun.”

“Yeah?” Nursey grins. He reaches out to take Dex’s hand lightly in his. “Which part?”

“This part, definitely.” Dex squeezes Nursey’s hand a little playfully. “That last part wasn’t bad, either.”

“How about the next part?”

“Sure,” Dex breathes out, stepping back into Nursey’s space with purpose. “Why not?”

Nursey grins. He tugs eagerly at Dex’s hand, leads him back out into the bedroom.

Somewhere, a phone buzzes.

They ignore it. Nursey spreads Dex out on the bed, and they start to kiss, slowly, languidly. It’s really good.

The phone buzzes again. And then again.

After a few moments, Nursey pulls back.

“Fuck, just, one second.” He rolls over, digging his phone out of the pocket of his discarded jeans. As soon as he’s taken one look at the screen, he frowns. “Maybe two seconds.”

Nursey types something. Pauses. Types again. Dex, getting a little restless, reaches out to slowly trace circles across Nursey’s shoulder.

“There,” Nursey mutters, tossing his phone carelessly over the edge of the bed. “For whatever reason, my boyfriend is being exceptionally dumb tonight.”

Dex stills.

It takes a moment before Nursey seems to realise why.

“We’re not… It’s an open relationship.” Nursey draws back a little. “He knows exactly where I am, right now. Or, well. What I’m doing, at least.”

“Oh.” Dex can’t quite look at Nursey. It should be of no concern to him, whether or not Nursey is seeing some guy, or even one hundred guys. “Okay.”

“It’s really not that uncommon.” Nursey’s tone has a rather defensive edge, now. “Lots of people don’t have an exclusive relationship, and Vincent… I mean, we both thought it’d be a lot of fun. To always have options.”

“Sure.” Dex takes a breath. He really, really needs to not fuck this up. “Whatever works for you. I’m glad you two are communicating.”

Nursey rolls his eyes.

“Not quite what I would call it, right this minute,” he mutters. “So. Anyway. D’you want…?”

It’s his cue, and Dex gladly takes it, pulling Nursey back on top of him and melting into another kiss. It effectively stops him from saying something unbeliavably stupid.

***

“Dex! My man!”

Dex grins widely as he let’s Chowder wrap him into one of his signature hugs. It’s been much too long.

“You look good.” Chowder smiles as he pulls away, except then he immediately steps right back into Dex’s space. “Whoa. Sexy-Dexy. Is that what I think it is?”

Dex immediately backs off, but it’s already too late. Chowder’s eyes are fixed on the undeniable hickey just above Dex’s collarbone.

_ “Dex.”  _ Chowder looks positively thrilled. “You’ve been getting it!”

Dex tries to laugh it off.

“Come on,” he says, nudging Chowder towards the booth he’s found them. “I’ll buy you a drink. Tell me all about San Francisco.”

“Oh no. Don’t think you’re getting off the hook that easily.” Chowder sits down, grinning widely, eagerly. “Spill.”

Dex sighs. He slides into the booth across from Chowder, feeling impossibly awkward.

“There really isn’t much to tell.”

That’s a lie, technically speaking, but Dex hasn’t planned on telling Chowder – or anyone, preferably – about his unusual source of income.

“Sure there isn’t.” Chowder shakes his head fondly. “Come on, Dex. I don’t need to know every single dirty detail. Just tell me something about him.”

Dex bites his lower lip.

“He’s… Really special.”

Chowder’s grin softens.

“He’s gorgeous,” Dex continues, the words spilling out before he can think them through properly. “And so sweet. He always wants to know how I’m doing, if there’s something he can do to take care of me, even when… When he shouldn’t have to. Whenever I'm with him, it's like time moves just a little bit faster.”

Chowder raises an eyebrow.

“Care to tell me why you don’t sound more delighted?” he asks, his tone gentle. “Where’s the catch?”

Dex sighs.

“There are several.”

“Okay. Name one.”

“The boyfriend makes things a little inconvenient.”

Chowder’s eyes widen.

“They're not exclusive, it's an open thing.” Dex rolls his eyes. “And he… I’ve never expected this guy to actually date me. He hasn’t been leading me on.”

“Still, that’s too bad.” Chowder smiles kindly. “I’m getting the feeling I should be the one buying you a drink, tonight.”

“Probably,” Dex agrees tiredly. “It’s been a long semester.”

“But it’s almost over!” Chowder cheers, evidently trying to bring the mood back up again. “What’re your plans for the summer?”

“I… Don’t know.” Normally, Dex would've resigned himself to yet another summer stuck on his uncle’s lobster boat. This year, he doesn’t actually need money that badly. “I haven’t decided.”

“Think you can squeeze in a west coast vacation, then?” Chowder asks, his tone hopeful. “You should meet Caitlin. I talk about you so much, it feels like you already have, but… You actually haven’t. And you should.”

Immediately, Dex feels bad. They’d promised they wouldn’t lose touch, when Chowder moved, that they’d still find time for each other. The problem is, Dex hasn’t even been able to make time for himself, this past couple of years.

Except, that’s all changed, now.

“Yeah,” he agrees, nodding. “Actually, that’d be so fun.”

Chowder beams towards him.

“We’re going to have the best time! You’ll love San Francisco, I promise – I know you’re not super impressed with big cities, but San Francisco is something else. I can’t wait to show you everything.”

For a moment, Dex let’s himself imagine a very different summer, in a different city. A summer spent completely avoiding the crowded streets in favor of savoring each and every minute alone with someone he's started to care for. Someone who’s sweet, and kind, and devastatingly unavailable.

Someone who will certainly never feel that way about Dex.

***

Vincent is late.

Nursey turns over on the couch restlessly. It's not like he's all that surprised. This isn't the first time Vincent has blown him off like this. It's just, usually, Vincent is a little more tactful about it. He'll call, or at least text, leaving Nursey to try and guess which one of those boytoys Vincent’s hooked up with this time based on half-finished sentences and strings of emojis.  _ somethn came up, don't wait up for me. ur the best, babe. I love u _

It's been a long time since Nursey actually felt guilty about never saying those three little words back.

It's also been a long time since Vincent actually did text Nursey, before falling in bed with one of his many lovers. Recently, he's just… Disappeared. Nursey wonders if he should say something, wonders if Vincent is waiting impatiently for Nursey to call him out on it. He probably is. It wouldn't be his worst attempt at communication.

Nursey sighs.

He'd known, somewhere deep down, from that first time Vincent had spoken the words  _ open relationship _ , that this wasn't going to be easy. He might've said no, if Vincent hadn't made it so painfully clear that it wasn't just a suggestion. Obviously, helplessly, Nursey had agreed. Him and Vincent had been together for so  _ long  _ – all through Andover and then college. Everyone had always said they were such a perfect match. The idea of breaking up with Vincent had seemed almost as ridiculous as cutting off his left hand.

It hadn't been so very bad, at first. Vincent had been absent no more than once every two weeks. He'd always let Nursey know, before, and they'd even shared some laughs when Vincent told him stories about his first few conquests. They'd been fine. Things had been fine.

Until Vincent had started to see the others more often. A lot more often.

Nursey  _ had  _ brought it up, a couple of times. Vincent had just shrugged it off. Once, he'd questioned why Nursey couldn’t just find someone else to occupy him.  _ There's a whole world of men out there, babe, I’m sure there’s some who wouldn’t mind showing you a good time. I can't believe you don't see how good this could be for both of us. _

Nursey hadn't thought he'd be taking that advice, until Lardo had approached him at that art exhibit. Lardo's proposition had sounded… Convenient. Irresistibly so. Maybe Vincent was right. Maybe Nursey would feel less lonely, if he didn't spend quite so many nights alone.

The first time Nursey had texted Vincent to let him know he wouldn't be coming home that night, Vincent hadn't replied until the next day.

_ u don't have to tell me every time. just do whatever _

Sighing, Nursey closes his eyes. He decides not to think about Vincent, or about what Vincent must be doing at this very moment, any longer.

It's… Surprisingly easy.

In Nursey's mind, a pair of light brown eyes blink up at him. There’s a small smile, and soft, gentle hands, and a patient voice asking him how that feels, if it’s good, if he wants more. Except, this time, Nursey  _ does  _ want more – more than letting those capable hands roam all over his body. More than being taken cared of so perfectly, time and time again.

Suddenly, the fantasy is reversed. Those hands are his own, slowly working up and down that gorgeously thick cock, and the familiar voice from before is no longer gentle or patient – instead, it’s been reduced to nothing but trembling whimpers, along with the occasional murmur of _please_ and _faster_ and _fuck, yes, just like that._

(It's maybe not the first time Nursey has wondered what it might take to make Dex sound like that.)

Nursey resists the urge to palm himself through his pants. Instead, he gets up and walks out into the kitchen. He drinks a large glass of water, then splashes his face a little for good measure.

Then he picks up his phone.

Lardo answers almost immediately.

“Hey,” Nursery says. “It’s me. I was wondering…”

“I know what you’re wondering.” Lardo’s tone is polite, if a little amused. “Scheduling might be a little trickier this time. When did you have in mind?”

“Friday? If possible.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s actually not going to work. Dex is going to be unavailable for the next two weeks.”

Nursey blinks.

“Oh. Okay.”

“I’m going to have to get back to you at the end of next week. Is that all right?”

“Sure.” Nursey tries his best not to sound too disappointed. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Actually, Dex did leave a message for you.”

“He… Really?”

“You think he didn’t realise this would happen?” Lardo asks, and Nursey can hear the smile in her voice. “Dex told me to tell you that he’s travelling to see some friends, but he’ll be back soon, and that you should make sure you don’t slip in the shower and get yourself concussed while he’s away.”

“Hey!” Nursey exclaims, except he doesn’t quite succeed in making himself sound appropriately annoyed. He’s smiling widely. “I’m  _ perfectly  _ capable of taking a shower without tripping over myself, even without Dex.”

“Please believe me when I tell you that I genuinely do  _ not  _ want to know what you two get up to in the shower.” The eye-roll is near audible. “Anyway. I’ll be in touch, okay?”

“Sure. Thank you.”

Lardo hangs up.

Nursey smiles at his phone, briefly.

It’s maybe a little pathetic, that Nursey’s own boyfriend couldn’t be bothered to send him as much as an emoji, while Dex apparently took the time to stay in touch.

It’s probably even more pathetic that the mere idea of Dex  _ thinking of him _ just made Nursey’s heart beat wildly.

***

“I’m sorry, what?”

Lardo is watching Dex closely through the facetime call.

“You can say no,” she reminds him. "I’m not sure that I think this is such a good idea.”

Dex licks his lips.

Nursey wants him for a whole  _ weekend. _ Not just an evening, or even a whole night. No, two nights – as well the day that falls in between them.

Holy shit.

“I told him it’ll cost him significantly more than your normal rate, but he said that’s fine – he didn’t even ask how  _ much.” _ Lardo rolls her eyes. “I’m sure he’s good for it, but I don’t know. We’re basically robbing him at this point.”

“Weren’t we always?” Dex points out weakly.

“Not at all,” Lardo says indignantly. “Trust me. I have every reason to believe that you’re exceptionally good at this, and that comes at a certain cost.”

“... If you say so.”

“Anyway.” Lardo tilts her head a little. “What do you think?”

Dex breathes in and out, carefully.

“I don’t know,” he says, slowly. “Why not?”

Lardo narrows her eyes.

“You’re going to need breaks,” she tells him sternly. “Proper breaks.”

“Oh, definitely.”

“I’m going to make that extremely clear to him. You both need to remember to eat, and stay hydrated, and he needs to let you get enough sleep.”

“I think he understands that,” Dex says, a little hesitantly. “Nursey’s never come across as a complete idiot.”

“You sure don’t know him like I do,” Lardo mutters. “Alright, then. I’ll let him know.”

***

Dex opens the door to the hotel room, and then stops.

It’s a suite.

There’s a living room area, and a full kitchen, and several closed doors that presumably lead to other rooms. Hopefully, at least one of them is equipped with a bed.

Belatedly, Dex steps inside, closes the door and drops his bag.

Then he goes exploring.

By the time Nursey arrives, Dex has checked out what turned out to be two bedrooms complete with ensuite bathrooms (one of them has a jacuzzi, so that’ll be interesting) and is halfway through inspecting the contents of the surprisingly full refrigerator. (Dex immediately suspects Lardo’s involvement.) 

“Hey,” Nursey says, eagerly. He closes the door and kicks off his shoes, not looking anywhere but at Dex. “It’s good to see you.”

Dex’s heart does something of a somersault.

“Hi,” he manages.

Nursey smiles.

“Thank you, for doing this. I’m sorry to take up so much of your time.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Dex says carefully. And then, because he can’t help himself… “It’s nice. To have time.”

Something unusual passes over Nursey’s expression.

“Anyway.” Dex clears his throat. He makes a gesture around their exceptionally spacious quarters. “Any preference on where to fuck first?”

That makes Nursey grin. He glances around them, briefly, before returning his eyes to Dex.

“You pick.”

Dex bites his lower lip. He might have played out more than three different scenarios in his head, while waiting for Nursey, and surprisingly, only one of them involved the jacuzzi.

“Kitchen counter?”

"Sure," Nursey says, a little breathlessly. "Go on, then."

Dex isn't completely sure what Nursey means by that, but his decision to cross the room and back Nursey up against the nearest wall seems to hit the mark well enough – Nursey practically melts into the kiss.

“It’s alright,” Dex breathes out between kisses. “I’ve got you. Come here.”

Nursey makes a noise in the back of his throat and kisses Dex again, urgently. Dex fumbles until he gets two fingers hooked through Nursey’s belt loops. Then he pulls. It’s a little tricky, but ultimately successful – before long, he’s moved Nursey along with him to the kitchen.

“Hold onto me,” he instructs, guiding Nursey’s arms around his neck. “Good.”

One swift motion later, Nursey is sitting before him on the counter, his legs spread widely.

Nursey leans back a little. He’s already a bit out of breath, and there’s something unusually gentle about his smile.

“It’s been too long,” he says quietly, reaching down to run his fingers lightly through Dex’s hair. “Too fucking long.”

“I know." Dex allows himself to lean into Nursey's touch, just a bit. "I’m here, now.”

Nursey just looks at him for a moment. Then he lets his fingertips travel across Dex’s jaw, down his neck to his collarbone and then all along his chest. He lingers at the hem of Dex’s jeans. “Can I… With my hands?”

Dex blinks. It’s not at all what he expected, given their current position.

“Sure,” he still agrees – he’s surprised, not stupid. “Should I… What can I do?”

“Here.” Nursey guides Dex’s hands around him so that Dex is holding him by the waist. Then he unzips first his own pants, and then Dex’s. Dex finally gets the picture when Nursey methodically aligns their cocks between them.

“Oh,” he rasps out, as Nursey takes them both between his hands. “Okay.”

Nursey is studying his expression carefully.

“How do you like it?”

“Uh.” Dex closes his eyes, reaching down to squeeze Nursey’s ass a little – he doesn’t really have anything better to do with his hands, and it’s a bit unsettling. Even before Dex got himself into this particular situation for the first time, he’s rarely ever taken on a passive role in the bedroom. “How do you mean?”

“This.” Nursey gives them both a light squeeze. “How do you do it, when it’s just you?”

_ I close my eyes and pretend it’s a mouth around my cock and then I rub for dear life.  _ Dex breathes in and out, shivering as Nursey strokes him softly. “I, uh. I go a little faster.”

Immediately, Nursey speeds up.

“Yeah,” Dex affirms. “Except, a little more around the base, like...  _ Yes. _ Like that. Fuck.”

“Uh-huh.” Nursey’s voice has softened. “What about… This?”

He turns Dex over in his hand, then lightly trails his fingernails along the underside of Dex’s cock, all the way to the head. Dex groans, closing his eyes.

“That’s so good.” Dex isn’t sure if he wants to pretend that’s Nursey’s teeth scraping carefully against him, or if he should put off that fantasy and try to savor this very real moment, instead. “You could, one more time… Fuck.  _ Fuck.” _

“That’s it,” Nursey breathes out, his hands speeding up again. “Yeah. Come on.”

Dex bites his lower lip, panting. “Fuck, Nursey, I’m gonna-”

“Go on.” Dex can hear the smile in his voice. “S’okay. Just let go.”

It’s too soon, really, Dex _ shouldn’t _ – Nursey can’t be anywhere near coming, not yet. Except, none of that matters. Dex comes with a stifled groan, his face buried in Nursey’s neck, his hands clutching at Nursey’s waist desperately. Nursey strokes him through it – strokes them both, his breathing heavy. When Dex blinks his eyes open again, he finds Nursey’s gaze still intent on his own. Nursey has let Dex go, and is working his own cock slowly, almost languidly. He looks… Oddly content.

“Sorry,” Dex rasps out. “I wasn’t… Sorry.”

Nursey shakes his head.

“You are  _ so hot,” _ he breathes out. “I’d love to just keep making you come.”

Dex frowns.

“Tell me how you want it,” he says, covering Nursey’s hands with his own. “Like this? Or something else?”

That makes Nursey smile.

“I mean it. I could just keep getting you off. That’d be so perfect.”

“I can do much,  _ much  _ better than that.”

“I know you can.” Carefully, Nursey pushes his hands away. “Why don’t we take a break?”

“Um.” Dex feels more than a little perplexed. “But you. You still didn’t…”

“I’m sure I will,” Nursey promises gently. “I think, maybe, I could ride you, next? And you’ll probably need some time to recover, before.”

“Oh.” Dex must admit that does sound exceptionally great, and Nursey does have a point. Dex isn’t going to be up for that right this minute. “Okay. Sure.”

“Great.” Nursey smiles tentatively. “Should we… Do you want something to drink?”

Dex rolls his eyes. “So Lardo really did give you that lecture, huh?”

Nursey grins slightly.

“She has a point. If we’re going to make the most of our time, then…”

“I guess you’re right.” A little reluctantly, Dex steps away, tucking himself back in and zipping up his jeans. “There’s orange and apple juice, coke and lemonade, a coffee machine in that cupboard and of course water.”

Nursey blinks.

“Wow. Lardo wasn’t kidding when she said she’d have us covered.”

Dex shrugs.

“In my experience, it’s always best to assume Lardo means business.”

“Oh, totally.” Nursey zips his pants up a little awkwardly, and then hops down from the counter. “I think I’ll go with apple juice. You?”

“Just water, for now.”

There's a quiet moment while Nursey gets the bottles from the refrigerator and Dex rummages through the cupboards in search of glasses. Nursey nearly bumps into Dex as he starts to pour – Dex sidesteps him easily, and they share a brief smile. Even after everything the two of them have done together, there's a strange intimacy in the domesticity of the moment.

“So,” Nursey says, taking a sip of his juice. “I think a bed might be preferable, next.”

Dex pauses, considering.

“Maybe, yeah.”

“Just maybe?”

“Well,” Dex says slowly. “There _ is _ a jacuzzi.”

Nursey’s eyes widen.

“And you didn't think to mention that, earlier?”

Dex cracks a smile. “I figured you’d already know.”

Nursey immediately downs the rest of his juice, then sets his glass in the sink.

“You done? ‘Cause I’m, you know. All good. So super ready. Jacuzzi. Which way?"

Dex grins.

He finishes his glass of water quickly.

***

After that first break, they go at it for… Well. Probably longer than Lardo would’ve preferred.

The jacuzzi is great – even greater than Nursey had hoped it might be. They do it once with Nursey facing Dex and riding him slowly, then a second time just using both of their hands. After that, they move things over to one of the beds.

A good while later, Nursey gets up to get them something more to drink and some much-needed snacks. After some sleepy debating they end up sprawled out on the couch. Dex is lying half on top of Nursey, slowly eating his way through a bag of chips. Nursey’s already finished his, and is just watching Dex. His expression is no doubt ridiculously soft, but Nursey is a little too tired to worry about that, right now.

After a little while, Dex glances his way.

“Enjoying the show?”

Nursey manages a slight grin.

“Have I ever mentioned the fact that I find you insanely attractive?”

“Once or twice,” Dex says dryly, and eats another chip.

“This reminds me of when I met Lardo.”

Dex’s movements still. He glances at Nursey again, his gaze lingering longer, this time. Still, he doesn’t ask. Nursey vaguely remembers Lardo saying something about that, before his very first appointment.  _ They won’t ask you things about yourself. Your privacy isn’t going to be compromised in any way. _

Fuck that.

“I was at this art thing.” Nursey reaches for another bag of chips. “And there were some… Shall we say  _ interesting _ sculptures? One in particular got my attention. It was, like, really nicely done. Very realistic. I may have kept looking at it for quite a while.”

“Oh my God,” Dex mutters. “You… Oh my  _ God.” _

Nursey grins.

“Lardo came up to me and started talking, said she had this service. It took me a couple minutes before I understood what she was  _ really _ trying to tell me. Like, she didn’t quite come out and say it? And I didn’t want to just assume something like, well. Something like this.”

“I know what you mean,” Dex says softly.

Nursey pauses.

He doesn’t actually expect Dex to elaborate. Dex rarely ever talks about himself, and when he does it’s usually in very unspecific terms, or by mistake.

“I didn’t actually hear about this from Lardo, first,” Dex continues.

Nursey’s gaze immediately snaps back to Dex. Dex looks… A little contemplative, or maybe a little hesitant. Maybe both?

“There was this guy I met,” Dex finally settles on, only to pause briefly once more. “Someone I hooked up with, actually. He’d been doing this, before, and he told me about it."

Nursey nods, slowly. He doesn’t dare to interrupt, and risk Dex snapping out of whatever’s made him decide to have this conversation.

“He made it sound… Really simple. I’d been working all these different jobs to pay for school. The financial security was certainly appealing.” Dex glances at Nursey, briefly. “He also said that it… That he’d really had fun, doing it. I figured, why not? If it wasn’t for me, I could just quit."

"I'm really glad you haven't quit," Nursey blurts out. "Really, really glad."

Dex smiles a little.

"This sure beats scrubbing the floor at the gas station. And it leaves a lot more time for actually getting all those fucking problem sets done before class."

"Problem sets," Nursey repeats, with interest. He doesn't  _ quite  _ dare make it a question.

"Computer science," Dex says. His voice is oddly determined. "I'm studying computer science. I'll be a senior, this fall."

Nursey nods. He's never before felt so fascinated to learn someone's college major. "Is it… Is it fun?”

Dex makes a face.

"It isn't  _ not _ fun. And it's going to pay the bills. Plus, I'm actually kind of good at it.”

For a moment, Nursey thinks about his trust fund, his Manhattan apartment paid for by his parents and his arguably useless BA in English. It isn't the first time he feels kind of guilty about it all, but he's perhaps never felt it as acutely as he does now.

"I'm in the middle of a gap year.”

Dex looks over at him. His expression seems both startled, and a little curious.

“I graduated in January, basically one semester early. I didn’t think I’d be able to, so I was kind of… I wasn’t sure what to do. I had no plans.” Nursey pauses – it’s such a ridiculous thing to complain about, compared to everything Dex has just told him. Still, he soldiers on. “My parents actually suggested that I should take a break. Or, well. They said I didn’t need to figure everything out at once. That it’s okay if it takes a while before I decide what’s next. I think they’re feeling pretty bad about always spending so much time away – abroad, actually – and putting more money than I could reasonably spend in my accounts is making them feel… I don’t know. Less guilty, or something."

Nursey glances at Dex. He almost feels a little nervous. Fuck, Dex must think he sounds like a spoiled idiot, like one of those real Andover assholes.

To his relief, Dex isn’t looking at him like he suddenly hates his guts, or anything.

“I know it’s nothing to complain about,” Nursey still feels compelled to add. “I went to this high school that’s a stupidly expensive boarding school and I was pathetically homesick half the time and only really made it through because Vincent… Because I did have some friends. And I know that’s also not something to complain about, in the great scheme of things. I do realise that being in the middle of a ridiculously well funded gap year doesn’t qualify as a problem, exactly.”

For some reason, Dex has started to smile a bit.

“It’s okay, Nursey,” he says, an unusually teasing edge in his voice. “So you’re filthy rich. Anything else would’ve been shocking, at this point.”

“Not  _ filthy  _ rich,” Nursey disagrees, a little half-heartedly.

Suddenly, he wants to tell Dex about his classmates at Andover, about those stupid things they’d buy just because they felt like it, just to prove they  _ could  _ – cars and cocaine and that fucking yacht, seriously, what in the world was Vincent  _ thinking. _

It had been almost funny, at the time, in that way every fucked-up Andover disaster seemed to be.

Nursey doesn’t want to think about Andover, or Vincent. Not now.

Maybe not ever again.

“Hey,” Dex says. He looks almost concerned. “We can talk about something else.”

Nursey takes a deep breath. He wonders what Dex might’ve seen in his expression.

“Tell me about computer science,” he says, impulsively.

“Okay.” Dex pauses. He seems to think for a moment. “Do you know anything about database management?”

Nursey shakes his head.

Dex grins.

“Then we’ll start from the very beginning.”

***

It’s the second day, in the afternoon. Dex has just woken from an exceptionally pleasant nap, to an exceptionally pleasant surprise – Nursey is straddling him, and is currently busy kissing his way up and down Dex’s naked chest. He’s murmuring odd words between kisses, Dex catches  _ so soft _ and  _ so perfect _ and – predictably –  _ so hot. _ Dex keeps his eyes closed, but he doesn’t bother trying to suppress his smile.

It’s probably not great, how easily he’s gotten used to being with Nursey like this, for hours and hours on end. He’s not looking forward to tomorrow morning, when Nursey will thank him for his service and go back to his billionaire life with his stupid fucking Vincent, and Dex will go back home. Alone.

“Fuck, you look so good,” Nursey is mumbling presently – Dex quickly banishes all thoughts of tomorrow from his mind. Here and now is clearly so much better. “You’ve got to let me blow you, sometime.”

Dex’s eyes fly wide open.

“I’ve actually been thinking about it,” Nursey continues, oblivious to Dex’s present state of shock. “Like, how it’d fit? But I  _ think  _ we could make it work, if I just…”

Nursey trails off – he’s looked up, and is watching Dex’s dazed expression with interest.

“You, uh.” Dex pauses, clears his throat. His voice sounds pathetically weak. “You really, really don’t have to.”

Nursey tilts his head a little.

“You’d like that,” he realises out loud. “Oh my God. You’d  _ like _ that.”

“Yeah.” Dex doesn’t bother trying to deny it. It’s a little too late for that. “I… Yeah.”

“Fuck,” Nursey mutters. “Is now good for you? Please say yes. Please.”

Dex’s mind is already spinning a little. This can’t be happening. It’s far too good to be real.

“I mean, yes,” he manages. “If you’re sure you want to? A lot of guys, uh. Most guys wouldn’t. And I get that – I am kinda big. It isn’t the easiest thing to make it fit comfortably.”

For some reason, that only makes Nursey look more excited.

“When was the last time you had one?” he wants to know, his fingertips dipping beneath the hem of Dex’s boxers. “A blowjob. A  _ proper  _ blowjob.”

“Fuck, I don’t know.” Dex closes his eyes briefly – he  _ does  _ know, of course he does, he just has a little trouble gathering his thoughts right now. “Wait... Last summer. Definitely last summer.”

The guy at the beach party had been tall, and lean, and had looked at Dex’s cock like Christmas had come early. The blowjob itself had been a little sloppy, maybe, but Dex had still felt bitterly disappointed when they’d exchanged a few words, after, and his partner had turned out to be in town only for that one weekend. He lived in _ Berlin, _ of all fucking places.

Dex had gotten himself off to the memory of those lips closing around his cock for months afterwards.

Presently, Nursey is pressing his palm experimentally over Dex’s bulging boxers.

“You’re already… Wow.” Nursey glances up at Dex. “I’m just gonna go for it. Okay?”

Dex takes a shuddering breath.

“Please.”

That gets Nursey moving. He makes quick work of getting Dex’s boxers out of the way, and then he’s sliding down the bed a bit, getting himself into a better position. He meets Dex’s eyes one more time, briefly, before leaning in to give Dex’s cock an experimental lick.

Dex can’t stop his hips from bucking upwards, helplessly chasing after that sweet, sweet touch.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Nursey mutters. He puts a hand on Dex’s hip, pushes him gently back into the mattress. “I’ve got you. I’m gonna take such good care of you.”

Then his lips are back on Dex’s cock, leaving a trail of kisses and licking long, delicious stripes, up and down. Dex grips the sheets with his hands, hard. His breathing is already heavy, and he doesn’t even bother trying to hold back his soft whimpers.

“You’re so perfect,” Nursey murmurs, shifting his position a little and taking Dex’s cock in his hands. “So fucking perfect.”

Then he leans in. Experimentally, he puts his lips at the head of Dex’s cock. It takes him a couple of tries at different angles, but after a few moments he manages to suck just the tip into his mouth.

Immediately, he lets it slip back out.

“Huh.”

Dex is trembling all over. He wants to plead, wants to beg Nursey for more, except he’s not sure he’d be able to find his voice.

“Let me just…”

Nursey’s lips are back on him, and this time the tip of Dex’s cock slides in easily. Nursey keeps it in his mouth a little longer, let’s his tongue swirl gently around the head, before releasing it again with an audible pop.

“Fuck,” Dex swears – he sounds utterly wrecked, and there’s not much he can do to hide it.  _ “Fuck.” _

“I mean, that's the idea,” Nursey jokes, his tone a little breathless. “Hold that thought, yeah?"

This time, there’s confidence in Nursey's movements as he sucks Dex into his mouth, and then keeps sucking – Dex groans, fighting to keep his hips from bucking up again. He’s not going to last very long. Nursey is using both his hands and his mouth, now, alternating between licking and sucking around the head and working his hands around the rest of it, all the way down to the base. Every now and then, he manages to slide a little more of Dex into his mouth, just briefly, causing Dex to let out another helpless moan.

“I’m, uh.” Dex swallows. He’s so,  _ so _ close. “I’m gonna...”

Nursey slides off him smoothly.

“Come on,” he breathes out, still jerking Dex off with his hands as he licks all along Dex’s cock, one more time. “That’s it. I’ve got you.”

Dex isn’t sure if it’s the tremor in Nursey’s voice, or that perfect,  _ perfect _ feeling of Nursey’s tongue all over him, or the way Nursey looks when he glances up, meeting Dex’s eyes at just the right moment. Nursey’s cheeks are flushed, his lips are all wet and there’s something unusual about the enthralled look in his eyes, something that must be more what Dex secretly wishes to see than what is actually there. Maybe it’s a little bit of all of it that finally sends Dex over the edge. Nursey strokes him through it, hard and fast and just the way Dex likes it, and when it’s over, he slides back up the bed, carefully lying down with his head on Dex’s shoulder.

They’re both quiet as Dex struggles to catch his breath.

“Holy  _ shit." _

Nursey grins slightly.

“Good, huh?”

Dex isn’t sure how to answer that. Nursey isn’t wrong, exactly, but  _ good  _ doesn’t even begin to describe the experience Dex just had.

Next to him, Nursey yawns.

“I’m thinking another nap wouldn’t kill me. That okay with you?”

“Yeah,” Dex agrees faintly. “Sure. Whatever you need.”

Nursey wiggles a little, gets himself comfortable. He yawns again, closing his eyes this time.

After a moment, Dex turns his head to look at him.

It’s a little ridiculous, maybe, that Dex has just had what he will always remember as one of the greatest sexual experiences of his fucking _ life _ , yet it’s almost like he doesn’t even feel that good about it. It’s not that he regrets it, obviously. No, it’s the exact opposite, the other side of the coin – Dex already mourns it. Because he knows, suddenly, that it can never happen again.

This can never happen again.

Dex wraps an arm around Nursey, gently. He closes his eyes.

It’s not like he hasn’t known for a while, now, that what he’s started to feel for Nursey wasn’t ever going to end well. That eventually, there would come a point when it would all become too difficult. Too painful. Too much for Dex's pathetically fragile heart to take.

The time has finally come, to let go.

***

Dex does his best to pretend that everything’s normal as they get ready to leave, the next morning. At one point his voice comes out a little softer than he intended it to, which makes Nursey look at him kind of strangely, but Dex quickly recovers. When Nursey finally steps out of their hotel room, the door closing quietly behind him, Dex doesn’t think Nursey actually suspects anything.

He’s not sure if that’s a relief, or a disappointment.

It’s half a week before Lardo calls, more than enough time for Dex to prepare himself. When he picks up the phone he’s pretty much got his speech rehearsed.

“Hey, you,” Lardo says brightly. “I trust you had a good weekend? Nursey’s been in touch.”

“I had a great weekend,” Dex tells her honestly. “Listen. Lardo. I’m not going to take any more appointments.”

There’s a pause.

“Mind if I turn on video?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

After a brief moment, Lardo’s blurry face comes into view. She looks genuinely concerned.

“Did something happen?”

“No,” Dex says, evasively. He tries to remember what he’s supposed to be telling her. “I… I’m going to want to focus more on other things in my life. All this going back and forth… It’s a little, um. Stressful.”

“Right,” Lardo says, slowly. She doesn’t exactly look convinced. “Okay. So, does this have anything to do with the fact that Nursey just called to tell me that he’ll be taking a break from this, for a while?”

Dex’s eyes widen.

“Nursey told you  _ what?” _

“And apparently, he didn’t tell you that.” Lardo rolls her eyes. “Ever heard of a neat little thing called communication, hm?”

“Did Nursey say why?” Dex asks quickly. “And did he say anything else, about me?”

Lardo tilts her head a little.

“You sound awfully concerned for someone who literally just told me he wouldn’t be taking any more appointments, anyway.”

Dex deflates a little.

“I… I know.” He takes a deep breath. “I just… I can’t understand why Nursey would do that.”

Lardo’s expressions softens.

"Nursey only told me he's got some things to figure out. He wasn't very specific, and I didn't want to pry. He said he'd be in touch again, after."

"Oh. Okay."

“Dex." Lardo's tone is unusually gentle. "Why don’t you tell me what’s actually going on, here? I promise I won’t get mad.”

“I’ve kind of broken a couple of rules, though,” Dex admits, a little shakily. “One of them a little more severely than the other.”

“Oh, honey.” Lardo sighs. “It’s alright. I’m glad you told me. It’s a good call, on your part, not to continue this any longer.”

“I don’t think I could, ever again,” Dex tells her quietly. “The idea that he’s paying me, that I’m accepting his money in exchange for, what, efficiency and discretion? It’s making me feel fucking sick.”

“I hear you.” Lardo pauses for a moment. “You and I could still stay in touch, if that’s okay? I’m going to want to check in with you now and again, make sure you’re doing okay. And, I think we could probably be friends. If you’d like? I don’t have nearly enough big-dicked blowjob connoisseurs in my immediate acquaintance.”

“That… Sounds good.” Dex is almost smiling a little. Clearly, he doesn’t have enough papier-mache wielding art hustlers in his small circle of friends, either. “I’d really like that.”

“Good,” Lardo says, her tone pleased. “So. Obviously, I’ll be informing Nursey that you’re… Unavailable? The next time he calls.”

“Yeah.” Dex takes a breath. “Please do.”

“Should I… Do you want me to tell him anything else?”

“No.” Dex shakes his head firmly. “If he has questions, or whatever, just… Tell him I’m simply not doing this job, anymore. Tell him that I don’t have any complaints about him. I’m just not available.”

“Right.” Lardo digs her notebook out from somewhere to her left and actually makes a note. “I’m sure he’ll be cool. Nurey isn’t, you know. A complete disaster of a human being.”

“Yeah?” Dex smiles a little. “You sure don’t know him like I do.”

***

A couple of weeks pass.

Dex misses Nursey. Misses him a whole fucking lot. He tries to keep himself busy, tries to enjoy the fact that he’s in the middle of a whole summer of freedom. He goes on walks, and facetimes Chowder, and cooks food for himself that actually takes more than fifteen minutes to make. After a while, he finds himself getting restless, and so he looks at some listings for part-time positions and ends up working a few shifts at a thrift store he actually likes, just around the block. It’s actually almost fun – his colleagues are much more friendly than they’d been at the gas station – and Dex is going to need a bit of income on the side once the semester starts, despite everything. Still, money will be nowhere near as tight as it’s been, in the past. It’ll be fine. Dex will be fine.

He doesn’t  _ feel  _ like he will be, but that he can definitely ignore. He’s had several years of practice.

It’s a Wednesday afternoon, when Dex picks up a facetime call from Lardo.

“My friend Chowder says he wants to meet you,” Dex tells her, before she can get a word in. “I showed him that picture of your latest sculpture and unfortunately, he’s obsessed. D’you mind if I invite him into the call, next time?”

“Sure,” Lardo says. Her expression is a little… Unusual. “So, Nursey called.”

Dex blinks.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I informed him what we agreed, and he…” Lardo looks hesitant. “He wants to talk to you.”

Dex hates the way his heartbeat quickens.

“I don’t… I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I agree.” Lardo sighs. “It’s a terrible idea. I absolutely wouldn’t recommend it. It’s just, Nursey, he seemed… Really sincere. Said he only wants one conversation, and if you’re not up for it then I’m not allowed to keep bothering you about it. He was very particular about that.”

Dex bites his lower lip.

“Fuck. Does he have to be so fucking decent?”

“I never said you don’t have good taste, man.” Lardo almost smiles. “It’s completely up to you, Dex. Whatever you decide is fine.”

Dex pauses. Thinks about it –  _ really  _ thinks about it. Or, at the very least, he tries to.

It’s not like he doesn’t already know what his decision will be.

“Sure,” he says, eventually. “Just, is there any chance we could… Do this over the phone, or something? I’m not sure if I’m quite ready to actually see Nursey, right now.”

Lardo frowns a little.

“I’m not about to give Nursey your number, if that’s what you’re suggesting. Rule number three, remember?”

Dex grins slightly.

“Did I ever tell you that I’ve taken several advanced classes in information security? I’m sure I can figure something out.”

Lardo rolls her eyes.

“Oh, fine. As long as you can arrange it so that there’s no point of contact, afterwards?”

“Just leave that to me.”

***

One virtual phone number registration later, Dexs suddenly finds himself waiting for Nursey to call.

He’s feeling… Well.  _ Nervous  _ is clearly understating it a bit.  _ Alarmingly disoriented  _ hits closer to the mark.

Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait very long.

“Dex?”

Nursey’s voice is achingly familiar, yet the hesitant tone is something of a surprise.

“Hello.” Dex clears his throat. He’s so,  _ so _ glad Nursey can’t see his hands shaking. “It’s been a while.”

“It has, yeah.” Nursey exhales, shakily. “God, it’s so good to hear your voice again.”

Dex bites his lower lip, hard. Fuck. They’re not even one minute in, and he already wants to cry.

“Don’t worry,” Nursey tells him softly, evidently interpreting Dex’s silence as everything it’s not. “I’m not going to ask to see you again. It’s alright.”

Dex isn’t sure what part of that statement qualifies as  _ alright, _ exactly, but-

“This wasn’t actually the worst timing, for me, to stop seeing you,” Nursey continues. “I wouldn’t have been able to keep making appointments with you for much longer, anyway. It was getting harder and harder to accept the situation for what it was, to live with the knowledge that you were only with me because I… Because I compensated you for it. And not because you wanted to be there. To be with me.”

For a moment, Dex forgets to breathe.

“I know,” Nursey quickly continues. He sounds terrified. “It’s stupid. I’m being stupid. I’m so sorry for just dumping this on you, like this. You don’t have to… You don’t have to do anything. I just wanted to try and tell you that you’ve meant so much to me, and that I’m really in so much of a better place, now, compared to we first met. I’m… I broke up with Vincent.”

Dex’s mind is spinning, so much that he’s barely even registering what Nursey is saying anymore, but that last statement certainly makes everything snap back into focus.

“You did?” he asks, his voice coming out at least an octave higher than usually. “You… You’re not in a relationship?”

For some reason, Nursey laughs. It sounds stilted, and bitter, and wrong.

“Me and Vincent haven’t actually been in something you could plausibly label a  _ relationship  _ for several years. We’ve just… Been. It shouldn't have been so hard to let go, but he’s been a constant in my life for so fucking long. I thought it’d feel awful, afterwards, but it’s actually just such a relief.”

“How, uh. How’d he take it?”

“Oh, he hates me now.” It shouldn’t please Dex as much as it does, maybe, but in his defence, Nursey actually sounds almost gleeful. “Said I’ve wasted years of his life, and then tried to explain to me how I’ve always loved him and will now be eternally unhappy. Then he suddenly announced that he’s dumping  _ me _ – which technically wasn’t even possible, at that point, since I’d literally just broken up with him. I felt like I was watching the season finale of one of those telenovelas, except at twice the normal speed.”

Helplessly, Dex has started to smile. God. He’s missed Nursey so fucking  _ much. _ “Sounds very dramatic.”

“The very last thing I said to him was, and I quote,  _ you wouldn't know love if it bit you in the ass _ . He didn't stick around after that, for some inexplicable reason.”

Dex hums. “Can’t imagine why.”

“Well. Anyway.” Dex can hear Nursey take a breath. “I doubt I’ll be dating anybody, for quite a while. You’ve sort of set an impossibly high standard for any potential future boyfriends of mine.”

Dex’s heartbeat picks up again.

“Do you… Do you mean that?”

Nursey is quiet for a moment.

“Yes. Of course I do.”

“Did you mean what you said earlier, too?” Dex wonders tentatively – he’s still not sure he didn’t completely misinterpret what Nursey was trying to tell him, or had an extremely elaborate hallucination. “What you said about me.”

“Dex.” Nursey’s voice is impossibly gentle. “You’re not going to make me repeat myself, are you? I didn’t think you’d be that cruel.”

Dex takes a deep breath.

“Please believe me when I tell you that I have absolutely no intention of hurting you, in any way. Nursey. I’m…”

He falters. The silence that hangs between them is almost tangible.

“Yes?”

“I care about you.” It’s not the most flowery of confessions, maybe, but it’s simple, and to the point. Still, Dex feels like it’s not nearly enough. He soldiers on. “I care about you so fucking  _ much, _ Nursey, I… The whole reason why I’ve stopped taking your appointments is because I can’t fucking stand the idea that you’re paying me to be your dirty little secret. I can’t be that, not anymore. Not when I want to be so much more.”

“Dex.” Nursey’s voice is trembling. “You, what about… I thought you just weren't doing that, anymore? That you'd just quit, cancelled everyone's appointments."

“There hasn’t been anybody else.”

“Oh.” Nursey sounds completely stunned. "You… Really?"

"Really," Dex confirms shakily. “Not since I met you.”

“What about… When you’re not working?”

"No," Dex tells him quietly. "Nursey, I don't want anyone else. I haven’t, for some time.”

They both fall silent for a moment.

“Fuck,” Nursey mutters. “I want to see you. Please tell me I can see you again?"

“Yes.” It’s the easiest possible answer, even though it shouldn’t be. “Lardo’s gonna be so fucking pissed at us both. There are probably one million reasons for why this is a terrible idea.”

“Probably,” Nursey agrees. He sounds hopeful. “D’you think… When is good for you?”

“Sometime soon.” Dex pauses, tries to think about his usual flight times. Or maybe he could drive down, this time? “Actually, I should probably mention… I live in Boston.”

There’s a significant pause.

“You… What?”

“I live in Boston,” Dex repeats, a little patiently. “I’ve been flying back and forth, to New York.”

Another pause.

“You’re in Boston... Right now?” Nursey asks, sounding confused. “You’re joking.”

“Not a joke. I go to Boston University.” Dex takes a steadying breath. “My name is William Poindexter.”

“Oh,” Nursey exclaims, evidently taken by surprise. “Wow. Poindexter – that makes sense. William Poindexter. Will...?”

Immediately, Dex shakes his head, even though Nursey can’t actually see him.

“You should call me Dex,” he says firmly. “No one really calls me William, or Will. Not my friends or even my family – anyone important has always called me Dex.” He swallows, then repeats himself. “You should call me Dex.”

“Okay. Dex.” Nursey sounds a little breathless. “Oh, I’m Derek. Derek Nurse.”

Oh.

“Derek,” Dex repeats carefully. It feels strange. He tries again. “Derek Nurse.”

“You can still call me Nursey, if you like,” Nursey offers. “It is one of my nicknames.”

“I might,” Dex admits. He probably will. “You should have my number. My real one – this one’s kind of a decoy.”

“Why don’t you give it to me in person?” Nursey suggests, a little hopefully.

“That might have to wait a while.” Dex sighs. “Boston, remember?”

“Dex, I’m in Boston. I’m in Boston right now.”

Dex blinks.

“What?”

“Well, if you wanna get technical, I’m in Cambridge," Nursey adds. He sounds delighted. “A friend of mine goes to Harvard, he’s taking summer classes right now. I’m supposed to be here for a few days, visiting.”

“Holy shit.”

Dex thinks fast. The campuses are so close, he’s pretty sure he can make the drive in less than ten minutes.

“Mind if I steal you away for a bit?”

“Please,” Nursey agrees immediately. “That’d be absolutely perfect.”

***

It’s a bit of an out of body experience, watching Dex pull up outside of Shitty’s dorm in an old, somewhat shabby-looking pickup truck. Almost like something out of a wonderful dream.

Shitty is more than a little bit confused.

“For fucks sake, man! Here I am, pouring my heart and soul into the noble task of helping you get over that A-grade douchebag, and now you’re telling me you’ve been mooning over some other kid for  _ months?” _

“He’s not a kid, Shitty,” Nursey corrects him distantly – Dex has turned off the engine and is smiling at him, almost shyly. Nursey waves at him, a little awkwardly. “I am also not a kid.”

“Debatable,” Shitty scoffs, frowning at Dex through the windshield. “Dude, seriously. You sure about this?”

“I’m completely sure.” Nursey turns to look at Shitty, briefly. “I’m so sorry to just ditch you like this. I’ll be back… I’m honestly not sure when. But I promise I’ll make this up to you.”

“Nah.” Snitty shrugs. “You kids have fun. Don’t you worry about an old geezer like me.”

“You’re not  _ that  _ much older than me.”

“And yet still so much wiser.” Shitty nods towards the car, and Dex. “Run along, young lad. Your carriage awaits.”

Nursey doesn’t need to be told twice.

He’s grateful that Shitty heads back inside the building when he opens the passenger door and meets Dex’s eyes carefully. He really doesn't need to have an audience for this.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Dex says. He’s still smiling a little. “Come on in.”

Nursey does, shutting the car door. For a moment, they just look at each other.

Then Dex leans over.

It’s a brief kiss, yet Nursey savors it, closing his eyes and thinking of nothing but the feeling of Dex’s soft lips against his own.

Dex is still smiling, when they pull back, except it looks a little different, now. A little softer.

“We should, um.” Dex licks his lips. “I was thinking we’d go back to mine. If that’s okay?”

“Sounds perfect.” Nursey watches as Dex starts the car, puts it in reverse. It probably shouldn’t be so fascinating, watching Dex doing something as mundane as going for a drive, but it is. “I like your car.”

Dex glances at him, a little doubtfully. “The old girl’s not much to look at, I know.”

“I think she’s great.” Nursey looks around, takes in the tiny plush lobster hanging from the rearview mirror and the faded, once-yellow Boston Bruins sticker above the glove compartment. “You like hockey?”

“Yeah.” Dex grins slightly. “Used to play, in high school.”

“Yeah? Me too.”

“Really? What position?”

“Defence.”

“You’re kidding – me too!”

“That’s really cool. What teams did you play?”

The conversation keeps flowing easily as Dex drives. Nursey almost starts to relax, a little bit. He’s not even sure why he was nervous in the first place. It’s Dex. Nursey  _ knows  _ Dex. They’re gonna be just fine.

Except, when Dex pulls up outside of an apartment complex just off campus, Nursey is surprised to see Dex’s hands shaking a little as he turns off the ignition.

“Come on,” Dex says. He’s not quite looking at Nursey. “I’ll give you the grand tour.”

The grand tour, as it turns out, is very brief. Dex’s apartment is of the one-room variety, with a kitchen area in one corner, a wall full of shelves, an armchair and a bed. There’s a closed door that presumably leads to a bathroom and literally nothing else. It’s not the biggest apartment, certainly, but it’s genuinely cozy and seems pretty well cared for.

“I painted it over, when I moved in.” Dex gestures towards the light grey walls, a little awkwardly. “Found most of the furniture in thrift shops. Redid the upholstery on that chair.”

“No way.” It’s genuinely a nice armchair, in a bright red color. Sort of a statement piece. “That’s actually really cool.”

Dex shrugs. He’s watching Nursey a little unsurely. “It is what it is, when you don’t really have options.”

“All the same, you’re making me realise how completely incapable I am of doing  _ anything.” _ Nursey takes a moment to admire a small collection of rocks on one of the shelves. “I know it’s a stupid phrase, but I genuinely do love what you’ve done with the place.”

Dex smiles slightly. He looks a bit less anxious, now. Nursey considers it a win.

“So,” Dex says, and something about his tone immediately catches Nursey’s attention. Their eyes meet. “D’you want…?”

Nursey  _ wants, _ all right. But then again, they do actually have time, tonight. They might even have tomorrow night, and the night after, if Nursey’s lucky enough.

It’s a strange, almost dizzying concept.

“How about I wine and dine you, first?” Nursey suggests, a little breathlessly. “That might… Be nice.”

Dex stares at him.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever been  _ dined, _ before,” he remarks dryly. “Do people actually say that, in real life?”

Nursey grins. There’s something about Dex’s incredulous expression that isn’t  _ not _ endearing, per say.

“I mean, we could get dinner,” he amends. “Maybe takeout? Or something.”

“Or something,” Dex agrees vaguely. He tilts his head a little. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you again for a good while, now, but if you’d rather wait…”

Immediately, Nursey steps into Dex’s personal space, his hands finding their way to Dex’s hips.

“Right,” Dex says, almost to himself. “Good.”

Then he leans in.

Nursey melts into the kiss. Fuck. He loves this, loves having Dex pressed against him just like this, so  _ much. _ From the way Dex is clinging to him, Nursey figures the feeling might actually be somewhat mutual.

“You’re so perfect,” Dex mumbles between kisses – Nursey stills, opening his eyes. Dex is looking at him earnestly. “Always so perfect. I can’t believe you’re actually here, with me.”

“Fuck, Dex.” Nursey’s voice sounds hoarse. “I want to know everything about – about what you like, and how you like it? I want to take care of you, make you feel really good.”

“You’ve always made me feel good,” Dex protests. He looks unusually flustered. “Too good. I’ve always enjoyed our time together a lot more than I probably should have.”

Nursey shakes his head firmly.

“You’ve kept bending over backwards – sometimes  _ literally  _ – trying to figure out how to please me. I haven’t done the same for you, but I want to. I want that so badly.”

“You certainly tried, a few times,” Dex reminds him weakly. “That blowjob? That was so perfect.”

“I think I can make it more perfect,” Nursey tells him, determination in his voice. “The next time I blow you, I want you to tell me  _ exactly  _ how you like it, in detail. I’m sure I can learn to take a lot more of you, inside. I want to figure out just how you want it and then practice until it’s the best you could possibly imagine.”

Dex stares at him. Nursey raises an eyebrow.

“What?”

“You say that like you mean it,” Dex tells him slowly.

“Why wouldn’t I mean it?

“I’ve told you – most guys just wouldn’t be up for that.” Dex licks his lips. “It’s really okay, if you don’t feel like blowing me all that often. You don’t have to unless you genuinely want to.”

“And if I do? If I want to do it very often?” Nursey wonders what else he could do to convince Dex of his enthusiasm, whether it’d help if he outright begged – he absolutely would, if so. “Can I?”

Dex smiles, helplessly.

“You’re a little unbelievable.”

Nursey grins.

“In a good way, I hope?”

“Let’s go with that,” Dex teases gently. “We should, um. We should maybe actually think about dinner?”

“Oh. Sure.” Nursey obediently takes a step backwards, out of Dex’s personal space. Dinner had been his idea, after all, and he’s still not opposed to it. He just got a bit… Distracted. “I’m actually getting kind of hungry.”

“Would spaghetti be okay?” Dex asks, pausing to think for a moment. “I think I could swing a tomato sauce without having to make a grocery run.”

“You cook?” Nursey asks, feeling excited. “I’m impressed.”

For some reason, that makes Dex laugh.

“Yes, we non-trillionaires have all sorts of exciting life skills,” he jokes playfully. “Think you can chop an onion for me, or is it better if you stay away from sharp knives?”

“I  _ can  _ chop an onion,” Nursey informs him – it’s supposed to be in defense of his general capableness, but his stupidly fond smile probably ruins the effect. “But, uh. Me and kitchen knives are probably a bad combination. I generally try to stay away from sharp objects, just in case I fall over or something.”

“Then you get to handle the spaghetti,” Dex decides. “Let’s get to it.”

***

Later, they’re lying in Dex’s bed, on top of the sheets, their legs tangled together. Nursey is tracing different patterns between the freckles on Dex’s arm. It brings out a deliciously shivering sensation that Dex can’t say he’s not enjoying. He’s pretty sure there’d be a lot more sensations to enjoy, if he only gave Nursey the slightest invitation to expand his exploration a bit.

Dex yawns. He’s… Pretty tired. It has been a long, dizzying, exhausting kind of day.

Nursey’s movements still.

“D’you wanna sleep?” he murmurs.

“Actually, yeah.” Dex yawns again. “I’m just so tired.”

“I’m pretty beat, too.” Nursey kisses his shoulder lightly. “Could fall asleep, just like this.”

“Yeah?” Dex smiles a little. There’s always tomorrow morning, he thinks dazedly. And then the rest of the day, and night. Maybe even the day after that.

He closes his eyes.

***

The next morning, Dex wakes Nursey by leaving a trail of kisses all along Nursey’s torso, and they end up making out for quite some time before either of them speaks a word.

Before they get out of bed, Nursey makes good on his promise to begin his in-depth study of how to turn sucking Dex's cock into an art form. Dex is a little surprised, pleasantly so, when it turns out that Nursey actually takes direction... Extremely well. So well that Dex wonders if that in itself might be something to explore a little further, at some point.

A good while later, when Dex is halfway through cooking them a decidedly late breakfast, Lardo calls.

“Shit,” Dex mutters, stirring scrambled eggs with one hand and frowning at his screen. “What the fuck am I supposed to tell her?”

Nursey, who’s right next to him washing up their dishes from last night, shrugs. “I guess she was bound to find out sooner or later.”

“I suppose.” Dex takes a deep breath. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Grimly, he taps the button  _ answer with video. _

The call connects. Lardo stares blankly at them from the screen.

A tense moment passes.

Then Lardo sighs.

“Well,” she says. Her tone is unexpectedly calm. In fact, isn’t she almost smiling? “I guess this means Holster wins the betting pool.”

***

Dex registers for classes for his senior year. He keeps working at the thrift shop, but toys with the idea of trying to find a paid internship at a potential future employer, instead. Preferably one that happens to have a New York branch.

Nursey gets a part time job at an indie bookstore. He starts writing a little, for the first time since graduation, a short story and then an unfinished sequel and after that a small collection of poems. He tries submitting one of the poems to a literary magazine. It doesn't get accepted, but Nursey still thinks of that poem as his favorite. Dex does, too.

Dex makes the drive down almost every weekend. Nursey flies up every now and then, as often as his new schedule allows. By the time the semester starts, they've settled into a familiar rhythm. They do a lot of facetime and texting in between, and while there's still too many nights of falling asleep alone, it’s always completely worth it.

It's mid September when Dex picks up a call from Chowder.

"Dex! My man!" Dex grins, even as Nursey shoots him a puzzled look from where he’s curled up with a book in Dex’s red armchair. "I've been so busy lately, I've barely had the time to answer your texts, so. I figured we were overdue for some serious catching up. How've you been? How was the rest of your summer?"

"Really good." Dex takes a breath. "Actually, Chowder, this is great timing."

"Oh? How so?

"Well, you see..."

Dex catches Nursey's eye. He smiles, softly.

"There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a very indulgent, time-consuming project. I love Dex and Nursey, and Check, please! and fanfiction, and I've had so much fun writing this story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading it, too. ♡
> 
> Feel free to drop by my [tumblr](https://everwitch-magiks.tumblr.com/) for more Nurseydex, and other things, but kind of mostly Nurseydex.


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